Well, I thought this was going to be a better week, but then I had to go to the doctor for a post op appointment. So after one step forward, the doctors appointment sent me two steps back. I'm guessing it was the discouraging news that there's a 50/50 chance that all of this could happen again. A 50/50 chance is not very encouraging. That's a 50% chance that we could miscarry again. That doesn't even count the problems we'll have conceiving to begin with. This discouraging news doesn't exactly help me get up the courage to keep trying either. Let's face it- I'm a wuss and the news that this could happen again doesn't exactly sit well with me. That's probably why I took two steps back (maybe more than two). Now I'm trying to dig myself out of this hole.
It doesn't help that I have nothing to do to occupy my time. Gavin is working 12 hour days plus weekends and my friends in town are getting in those last minute summer errands and vacations. So I spend most of my day in front of the TV or laying by the pool by myself (sweating my tail off because I can't get in yet)- not much fun. I keep telling myself that I only have 3 more weeks of summer and I need to enjoy it, but every time I plan something it falls through and I'm back to where I began.
Thankfully, we will be heading to Dallas this weekend for a quick getaway. I'm hoping that leaving town for a while will help. And one of my best friends, Jessica, who lives in Miami, is flying up next weekend to hang out with me. I'm really looking forward to that. So maybe I'll get out of this slump soon. I sure hope so.
Hi Brittany, I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I have walked through infertility and a pregnancy loss (at 9 weeks as well) and it is so so so painful. I will never ever forget how it felt to walk through those things. It is a part of me forever. Part of my story. My heart aches for you and I will pray for comfort and peace as you grieve.
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